Rich Taunt, Non-Executive Director, and Georgi Dalusio-King, Personalised Care Lead MSK and Physiotherapy Practitioner, share their reflections on our recent Sussex Musculoskeletal (SMSK) Conference which focused on exploring the quality of vulnerability and what it means to us.

How do you feel? 

No, how do you really feel?

What’s your body telling you, from the dull ache in your neck, to the unease in your stomach at your to-do list, through to the lightness in your fingers as you type? What are you experiencing as a living, breathing human, strapped full of more sensors than a factory full of Fitbits at this very moment?

“Yeah, not bad, thanks, you?”

Doesn’t particularly cut it, does it?

Why, then, are we always drawn back to the bland and hidden? Why does this particularly happen at work: pulling on a mask and keeping what’s really happening firmly in the background?

Why does showing vulnerability prove so hard to do?

In the middle of the South of England showground, we discussed these questions with colleagues at the Sussex Musculoskeletal (SMSK) conference. Here’s our reflection on the four themes that stood out and stayed with us long after the session

We need to change how we think about what vulnerability is 

Vulnerability is “that feeling of being close to cracking”, as Georgi’s ten-year-old son described the night before the event. The idea of emotional exposure – choosing to risk speaking a truth that we commonly hide, putting the mask to one side, standing uncertain of what may happen when we speak from an authentic place – leaving judgement, criticism, and pretence aside.

At the conference, we stood together and did exactly that; we chose to risk speaking the truth as we shared what vulnerability meant to us. From sharing experiences of vulnerability, resistance and yearnings to tensions and desires, it felt like we were starting to see ourselves and, consequently, each other.

We’re all, at times, trying to sustain a second unpaid ‘job,’ one that pulls us more towards being an ‘expert’ and further away from ‘ourselves.’ This is exhausting and inhibits the growth of connection, creativity, and innovation.

How important do people feel this is in their work?

When asked if they wanted colleagues to be able to show vulnerability to them, most sided firmly with ‘yes.’ But when asked whether they felt comfortable showing their vulnerability with others, fewer felt they’d be able.

The feeling that vulnerability was important for people and wanting to hold a space for others to expose this, but the resistance to wanting to show their vulnerabilities, felt like a huge realisation.

“Everyone is vulnerable; share more, it’s a good thing.” – Attendee

How might people overcome resistance to showing their vulnerabilities?

Within the session, people started to notice that sharing something of themselves that is deeper, truer, and real more often results in receiving the same back. There was magic in the air as people started to feel a sense of permission, an acknowledgement that who they are is enough, that putting down any pretences and tuning into ‘you’ was allowed. It also helped people connect with each other, even if they had never met.

“I am allowed to show and share my vulnerabilities; it makes me feel lighter.” – Attendee

Vulnerability’s power comes from letting ourselves be seen

Together we recognised how sharing our vulnerabilities, doubts, and fears can feel counter-cultural and certainly, at first, quite awkward. We reflected on how the presence of judgement, shame, and blame can often be the fear that gets in the way of us exposing our inner noticing. Fear of losing face, looking less of a person or an expert, less in control, of being shamed, mocked, or misunderstood.

We all felt it in the room and held its shared presence together. And at the same time, with the words of   in mind, we discussed how by not feeling this fear and facing it, without daring to hold its hand and turn ourselves over to the ‘power of vulnerability,’ we cannot create opportunity.

Think about this in practice; maybe a colleague or patient is acting prickly, something that can occur daily, but you choose not to say anything for fear of conflict or saying the wrong thing. This is a lost opportunity. What if you had said something? What if you had said, “I’m noticing this and, I wondered if you were ok?” I’ll leave you to your imagination to work through the impact.

“At first, it was so hard to talk about myself and my feelings, but it got easier with practice. I started to feel a closer connection with the person I was talking to.”  – Attendee

Through noticing fears that commonly shadow our authenticity, people started accepting the reality that vulnerability is scary, but there is a reward in facing that fear.

Together, we started to see that exploring and exposing what we notice within ourselves in response to others, to life and to the world isn’t an exercise in group therapy. Vulnerability matters for how we work and perform as teams.

“Scary can be good as living within a comfort zone doesn’t get you to the moon or the Olympics.” – Attendee

We need practical ways to bring vulnerability into our workplace

“The best leaders aren’t afraid to be vulnerable” (Harvard Business Review, 2022). The Harvard Business Review is an example of how businesses around the world realise the role of vulnerability and ‘psychological safety’ – that ability to take interpersonal risks without fear – in supporting high performance at work. Indeed, Google also named it the number one factor they associate with their best teams. But such safety can only come once we have formed an emotional bond with those around us. Vulnerability is the glue that makes those bonds stick – creating the opportunity to connect and build shared purpose and resilience.

We reflected on the environments that help to create safety for being vulnerable. Some people felt emotionally restrained by the lack of time to be vulnerable in the workplace. One attendee reflected that “vulnerability only shows up when you have time to connect with the team or individuals. There is little opportunity to be vulnerable.”

Could this sense of need for ‘time’ for vulnerability be attached to the challenge of doing something different, something unfamiliar within a day where we have our conditioned behaviours mapped out? Could there be something around finding opportunity in how we speak to each other when making a drink whilst waiting for the computer to load up, when checking in together in meetings, working through an appraisal, or facing a difficult conversation – our everyday actions? It feels like the challenge could sit within daring to do what we already do, just differently.

As said by one attendee, “vulnerability won’t happen without a conscious decision by us all to value it and understand its power.” This feedback touches on the notion of what and how we prioritise. Does the essence of being truly seen over the awkwardness we may feel doing so take priority, leading us back to communicating with distance and our depths remaining unseen?

We experienced the magic of vulnerability in the showroom together. We now know that daring to be seen and listening to what we’re noticing within ourselves and the space between us creates a sense of lightness, wholeness and connection. Can we now prioritise this?

Vulnerability is not easy – it’s a different way of being

Is there a need for time to learn the language around having these conversations more comfortably? The worry being, “if I’m vulnerable, does that mean I’m not able to be there for my colleagues and patients?” As Chair of the board at Here, the organisation that supports the SMSK partnership, this is absolutely something Rich associates with. It’s hard and can be uncomfortable. At first, if it isn’t hurting, it probably isn’t working.

So, where does this leave us? It’s down to us to decide how we welcome – or not – vulnerability into our 1:1s, team meetings, away days, encounters with patients, and the small fleeting moments we have together. The evidence of us valuing its presence and recognising its wider effect is there, even though we see obstacles to overcome amid packed diaries. But we felt at the conference that it was worth taking the risk.

How does that make you feel?